On Sunday, this second week of Advent, our paster preached about the story of Zechariah in Luke 1. He and his wife Elizabeth longed for a child but did not have any because Elizabeth was barren. Then an angel of the Lord appeared to Zechariah and told him they would have a son and would name him John. Zechariah doubted the angel’s words and became unable to hear and speak until the child was born and he confirmed his name. Zechariah spent over 9 months deaf and mute, waiting in silence.
I’ve been thinking of waiting as I continue to pray for guidance about homeschooling. My thoughts sway back and forth between desiring to homeschool and longing to follow whatever God calls me to do.
Our paster mentioned that waiting often clarifies our desires. I think this is perhaps one of the reasons why God often requires us to wait for an answer. At first my desire to homeschool was just an idea. An idea that learning and education could be fun and exciting with lots of field trips and reading and exploring the world together.
As I researched more and more of course I realized that while there definitely can be moments of fun and exploration, the day-to-day reality of homeschooling is probably a little less shiny and a lot more messy. Raising a child is difficult and being responsible for their education could be daunting.
I think my perspective now is more realistic. And yet my desire has not lessened. If anything, I have more clarity that this is something I deeply want to do. Still, I’m not yet confident that God is calling me to do this. So I will continue to wait and pray.