This third week of meditation my goal was to meditate for 20 minutes each day sometime during the morning hours. And to sit with any restlessness I felt. I failed miserably again at meeting my goal.
I did meditate each day that I worked from home this week, mostly by fitting it in after dropping my son off at daycare. That time is really working well for me. Since modifying my son’s morning routine I’ve had more quality time playing with him and have still been able to drop him off earlier so I can meditate before starting my work day.
The days that I didn’t work from home I missed meditation completely. I also missed meditating on Saturday because I was so tired during nap time that I also took a nap!
I also tried to meditate in the evening one day after dropping my son was asleep and that didn’t work well. My mind was so busy with thoughts of work that I ended up stopping to write them down.
Here’s a quick review of the week:
Day 15: Didn’t mediate. Woke up late so I missed the early morning time and I had to go into the office so I didn’t have time later in the morning either.
Day 16: Meditated for 20 minutes at 8:55am after dropping my son off at daycare.
Day 17: Didn’t meditate.
Day 18: Meditate for 13 minutes at 8:30am while my son colored at kitchen table.
Day 19: Meditated for 20 minutes at 8:55am after dropping my son off at daycare.
Day 20: Meditated for 13 minutes at 8:50pm. This is the day that my thoughts about work became so overwhelming that I stopped to write them down.
Day 21: Didn’t meditate. This again was a day I had to go into the office.
I didn’t meet my weekly goal but I’m okay with that. I think it’s valuable to set the goal each week so I have something to target, but as I mentioned last week my purpose is to intentionally learn to trust Jesus. And I have been gaining a greater and greater desire to truly know and trust Jesus.
I think the Holy Spirit is using the books I’ve been reading lately, as well as my time spent in meditation and reflection writing this blog. In the past when I would read books of people who wholeheartedly gave their lives to Jesus, I would feel jealous and also scared. Now I mostly feel a strong desire to know Jesus and a letting go of my own desires. Slowly the Holy Spirit is opening my heart and melting my resistance.
This last week of my 28 day experiment with meditation my goal is simply what I started with – to meditate for 20 minutes every day.