When I started week 3 my goal was to meditate for 5 minutes and continue praying each day asking God to help me accept His control over my life. I have been praying regularly but I only meditated once. I’ve also missed blogging because we went to Southern California for 4 days and just got back yesterday.
We had a wonderful and fun time in Southern California but my son was more fussy than usual. This was not unexpected given the excitement (Legoland!), change in routine, lack of naps, and new sleeping arrangements.
Today was our first full day back and my son was so happy all day and did not fuss – at all. Throughout the day he would ask me, “Mom, am I doing a great job today?” and his face lit up when I encouraged him. I could see him trying to control his emotions when he didn’t like something.
My son has been home with me for over a week now on vacation and my schedule and routine are completely changed. I love spending all this time with my son and I find myself wishing I could stay home with him all the time. While I think this is a worthy desire and the experience is amazing I find myself losing focus again on what is primary: trusting Jesus.
Like my son, I want to come back to the place where my focus is on pleasing God. “God, am I doing a great job today?” But that again misses the entire point. Just because I’ve lost my focus and my routine has changed, nothing about God has changed.
I can trust God’s love for me and rest in the knowledge that He is in control regardless of my circumstances, including the times when I lose focus and the times where I don’t know what to do.
For the last few days of this experiment my goal is to continue to pray each day. Praying for God to help me accept His control over my life. Reminding myself of who God is and praising Him for His love, grace, mercy, steadfastness, power, justice, and compassion.