Was that You, God?

My plan to wake up at 5:30am every morning has been getting thwarted by my lack of discipline to get to sleep before 11pm. And when I don’t get to bed on time I typically decide to sleep as long as I can and don’t set my alarm. Last night was no exception.

Our dog, a black lab named Mr Darcy, apparently decided I need to be more committed and woke me up right on time at 5:30am by standing up and shaking his entire body while still in his crate.

So I got out of bed to meditate and almost immediately thought of a friend who I’ve been meaning to get in touch with. For the past couple of months I’ve felt compelled to reach out to her. It’s an awkward situation and I don’t know if these thoughts represent something that God wants me to do or not. So I’ve been procrastinating.

This morning when I thought of my friend I stopped meditating and sent her a message. I still have no idea if this is something God wanted me to do or it’s just some thought I had but I finally decided I’ll never know if I do nothing.

Learning to trust Jesus is confusing and hard and there is so much uncertainty. I feel lame writing that sentence and wonder if I’m making things too complicated. On the other hand, I’m tired of pretending I have it all figured out because I know all about Jesus and I’ve studied all the Biblically correct answers. I have nothing figured out because I don’t truly *know* Jesus intimately. Yet.