The last couple of days I’ve become a bit obsessed with trying to figure out schooling for my son. He’ll be four next month and I realized that we only have a year before we need to make a decision because applications will be due.
Our son is very impressionable and sensitive, and of course we want the best education for him. I’ve also been dreaming about home schooling for the past year but haven’t figured out how I could make that work with my full-time job. The homeschooling, public school, charter school, and private school options are overwhelming.
We have been considering private school but these last couple of days of actually doing research was a bit of a wake-up call as far as the cost is concerned. The best schools cost the same amount per year as the private Christian university I attended – not to mention that tuition apparently rises about 7% per year.
I started thinking and worrying about how we could make private school work since many of the schools looked wonderful online. Then I realized that I was once again losing focus on what is truly important and I was not trusting Jesus. I realized making a decision to send our son to private school would mean sacrificing a lot, including how much we can give. And giving more is something I feel called to do.
The obsessing and worrying is also indicative of my lack of trust in God. In all situations and in any school, Jesus will be with my son. And while I can attempt to provide the best education and the best life for my son, the truth is that I can’t fully protect or provide for him.
There are so many unknowns in life and I think the fear and anxiety that this provokes becomes magnified when you have a child.
This morning our paster preached on Acts 20:17-36 where Paul speaks with the church leaders from Ephesus before heading to Jerusalem where he knows his life may be in danger. Paul was concerned about what would happen to the church in Ephesus. He said he knew that “savage wolves” who would come in and try to draw away the disciples.
It’s evident from Paul’s letters that the people of the churches where he preached and served were like children to him, and like me with my son, he couldn’t fully protect them.
So now, brethren, I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. (Acts 20:32)
Paul faces the unknowns with complete trust in Jesus. He commends the people to God and His grace. To be able to commend my son to God and rest from the fear and anxiety of not choosing the right schooling for him, I need to remember that God is in control of all circumstances and that He is more than able to build my son up and save him.